The Value of Emotional Detachment

Letting Go For A Better State Of Mind

“True detachment isn’t separation from life but the absolute freedom within your mind to explore living.” — Ron. W. Rathbun

Many of us are influenced by the people around us, physical objects, incidents, or even the flood of our thoughts. You may not know it, but this kind of attachment takes a heavy toll on us and is a load which we bring upon ourselves and which we ought to rid ourselves from if our goal is to maintain balance in our lives, release our stress levels and worries, and experience inner peace. Letting go of negative attachments will bring us happiness. In a nutshell, the only person liable for your wellbeing is you.

The is nothing compared to inner peace. The only way to get there is to simplify your life. As it is, stress, anxiety, and depression are taking over our lives on daily basis. Today, it no longer seems we are battling against one or two aspects in life, it appears we are struggling against the world. So, if there is anything we can do to reduce our stress level, life will become much easier. Having said that, inner peace does not come with a click of a button. You have to be ready and dedicated to attaining it and work towards reaching this goal. Peace of mind is an inner mental state. Pretending to be calm or indifferent, which is an outer mental state, does not solve the problem. You will only feel the results when you start changing from within.

For those of you who are familiar with my blogs, I think you know me by now, I am an overly sensitive person. I worked hard, and still am, towards making progressive changes in my life, especially internal ones, so that I develop myself emotionally and reach peace of mind.

Like most of the world, the current pandemic forced me to spend time alone. This was a time I used to reflect. I realized that most of my frustration was caused by some of the people around me, who I thought were close to me. Their pressure and negativity consumed me. This is not the life I ever imagined for myself. I am a fun and outgoing person. I would like to enjoy life. I love to laugh, and I appreciate people. Thankfully, I am not materialistic. My issue was only with those who I once thought were good friends and I got attached to, but apparently had negative effects on my mental wellbeing. I knew that I should focus my efforts and energy on matters that benefited me if I was serious about looking after my mental and physical wellbeing.

From my experience, I can tell you that this is not an easy process, but I had to start somewhere. I listened to my heart and re-imagined the life I wanted, instead of focusing on little aspects which did me no good. This was when I became familiar with the term “emotional detachment”. I figured that if I wanted inner peace and a happier life, then I should try to gain some degree of detachment.

But what is inner peace?

· Not being attached to objects and people. It is rather the feeling of freedom, calmness, and contentment.

· Allowing yourself to be who you want to be or becoming a better version of yourself.

· Letting go of meaningless troubles and concerns which weigh you down.

· Being ready to accept everything that comes your way so that you can have the chance to change it for the better.

And how do you get there?

It all starts and ends with your state of mind. You have to alter your thinking and detach yourself in order to get to your inner peace. While there are many ways to do that, the below approaches worked for me:

1- Spend time in nature

What is a better way than to spend time in a “free blessing” like nature and be grateful for what we have been given? A research I read earlier suggested that nature has a positive impact on our brains and our behavior. Nature helps reduce anxiety, worry, and stress.

2- Practice mindfulness meditation

Mindfulness meditation energizes you. You will find yourself detaching from your thoughts, observing them, and learning from them.

3- Journal your feelings

I emphasize on journaling in almost all of my blogs. This is how powerful and beneficial journaling is for our wellbeing. It is unhealthy to hide your anger, disorientation, and any adverse emotions inside you. Like writing down your positive feelings and thoughts, penning the negative ones can help you deal with difficult emotions so that you can detach when you need to. Yet, when you are scribbling your negative thoughts try to avoid reflecting on them. Try looking at the situation or feeling from a different perspective. Try to be empathetic, for example, instead of belittling people who hurt you, you may want to write down that these individuals reacted the way they did because they may have a difficult life and are acting this way because they are coping with resentment or grief. Empathy can help you cope with tough people or situations.

4- Stay away from negativity and negative people

Negativity drags you down. It may also remind you of the issues bothering you. Surround yourself with optimistic people. Positivity will boost your thoughts and give you more self-control.

5- Know that you are unique in your own way

What others think of you should be irrelevant. Do not rely your happiness on their opinions. Love yourself, believe in yourself, and do what you feel is right for you.

6- Set low expectations

I do not agree with the notion of totally avoiding expectations. Expectations are not necessarily a bad thing. If you are in a relationship for instance, it is good to have expectations like admiration, love, and friendliness. These are all positive emotions which balance your negative ones. Lowering your expectations can help you reassess your views related to your relationships. Lowering expectations can make you see things from a different angle, learn about yourself more and avoid disappointments.

7- Accept

Acceptance is not helplessness. Let go of the judgement. Faulting or blaming yourself or others is not helpful. Accepting is simply choosing to move forward without feeling guilty. Embracing acceptance is a personal choice, and it is absolutely a good one for your inner peace.

8- Forgive and Forget

Do not let others’ behavior affect you. Your ego can take over any time, but forgiveness is truly an act of courage. Do not allow your ego to win. It can make you do or say things you may regret later. Leave aside the bitterness that captivates you to be able to accept what happened and to allow yourself to move forward. Forgive, forget, move forward, and do not look back.

You are the only person who knows what you can and cannot let go of. It is can be difficult to let go or detach yourself immediately. Start slowly. With time, you will learn and realize when it is time to stop holding on to someone or to something. Do not push yourself too hard. Little progress everyday can lead you to the results you want.

“When you let go, you create space for something better” — Unknown

Letting go is vital. While emotions are amazing and natural, we must learn to enjoy them if they are related to our happiness. Staying away from negative emotions gets you closer to your wellbeing, stability, and comfort.

Emotional detachment will allow you to be a fair person. Firstly, to yourself and then to others.

Think of the unhealthy relationships and attachments in your life, which are weighing you down, and decide on a suitable way to detach yourself from them. Release your negative thoughts and feelings. Emotional detachment is a skill. Once you become good at it, you can make better judgements and wiser decisions to better your life.