The Power of Accepting Each Other’s Differences
“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences” — Audre Lorde
The Clubhouse App is my newest delight. I never imagined that I could learn about so many people from different walks of life — their attitudes, cultures, beliefs, experiences, thoughts, ideas, in one safe space, on a simple app on my device, from my living room. The whole world is broadcasting live at the tip of my fingers!
A subject that caught my attention in one of the chat rooms was related to “Diversity and Inclusion”. I attentively listened to each speaker while the discussion went on for hours. Some individuals expressed their pain and agony while others advised on how to listen to and acknowledge each other. But then the most interesting debate transpired between two ladies who contended about religion and tolerance. One voiced her concerns on how she felt uncomfortable when people were requested to say their prayers before their conversation kicked off because she did not believe in God. The other, who happened to be a Moderator in the room, expressed her concerns on how uncomfortable she would feel if someone asked her not to pray because they did not believe in God — she refuses anyone who would ask her not to follow her religion and beliefs.
I privately messaged the Moderator because she sounded very bitter and sad. I sought to understand where her anxiety was stemming from. Her response was simple — “We should always love and respect each other. Other’s beliefs do not affect us. People’s practices are theirs. Nothing others do in their lives should stop us from loving them and them us”. A simple yet profound message, all she wanted to relay was — Let us love one another as humans.
What fascinated me in the discussion was that the disagreement between the two defeated the topic’s purpose — “Diversity and Inclusion”. Obviously, both ladies were not accepting each other because of their diverse beliefs…
Not that I disagree. It is essential for people to stick to their beliefs, however when we advocate for “Acceptance”, we must genuinely work on shifting our mindset and viewpoints. If I expect someone who does not agree with my values and beliefs to accept me the way I am, then I should be ready to do the same for them.
I am a firm believer that if we seek change, then the change should first come from within before we go out there and preach this notion to others. If I totally disagree with someone, then I have the option to withdraw politely from the conversation. If we do not add value with our thoughts, then our silence will be louder than our words.
There is a proverb in my culture which implies that “Apathy and Empathy cannot coexist”. When people lack faith, they cannot grasp its meaning; if a person never experiences love, they will not be able to love anyone; if someone does not fathom an emotion, they will not be able to preach it. Feed your instincts with positive feelings and thoughts and practice empathy to be able to care for others.
Unless the change begins with you, you will not be able to introduce a single change in this world.
Acceptance does not mean concurrence. People are free to do what they want the way they want, and you are free to do what you want your way. With that said, acceptance also does not mean you accept bad behavior from others. You need to set your boundaries. Only accept someone when their behavior does not impact your life negatively.
Kindness and Empathy seem to be hot topics on many people’s minds these days. Guess what? Accepting each other’s similarities and differences falls under these practices.
Each person is unique in their own way. Others do not have to be like you and the same applies to you. Every human being is entitled to their own beliefs, emotions, views, and ideas. Accepting people for who they are will shift your need to change them. You will give them the liberty to feel what they want and act the way they want. You allow them to be different from you.
Accepting our differences is not an easy process, I admit. But if you are open to the idea, here is what you can do to introduce this process into your life:
1- Stay away from negative judging
We all agree that human beings have a natural instinct to judge one another. However, instead of pointing out the negative in others, understand that you can learn something new from each person you cross path with.
Negative judging will prevent you from seeing the good that lies within these beings. Free yourself from judgment. Make it a point to set aside your viewpoints and listen to others. You never know what amazing lessons you can learn from them.
2- Focus on the positive
Your approach may not always be the right one. For you to embrace change, instead of wasting your time thinking why someone is different from you, have an open mind and focus on the positive they may bring into your life and be open to learning from their different experiences and background.
3- Learn how to differentiate between Tolerance and Acceptance
Tolerance is when we know that people with distinct beliefs, race, culture, sexual orientation, or tradition coexist in our world regardless of the disagreements in our notions and values, but we do not get close to them or interact with them.
Acceptance is when we allow these people to be just the way they are.
Accepting others means that we acknowledge that they have their own opinions, emotions, and principles without criticizing them and attempting to change them.
4- Know that it is not personal
People’s behavior is more of an expression of themselves and not you. Whichever way they behave, whether positively or negatively, know that their behavior is not directed to you.
To be able to understand and accept other’s differences, do not take other people’s behavior personally. Take yourself out of the equation and look at the wider picture of what is going on and the reason for their behavior.
5- Abandon your need to control
Try not to react to other’s behavior or views. Remember the only control you have is on yourself. I am not insinuating that you accept all behaviors especially if they make you uncomfortable. When you find yourself in an awkward situation, you may choose to courteously point out the intolerable behavior or just walk away but do not try to control it.
6- Try to Put yourself in their shoes
A good way to accept other’s differences is to put yourself in their shoes and get to know them better.
When you approach others with understanding and empathy, you will find it easier to accept them.
“If you don’t go through life with an open mind, you will find a lot of closed doors.” — Mark W. Perrett
The world is a packed with diverse people who all have the need to understand what is going on around them.
Many individuals find the need to impose their views on others and want to prove that they are more insightful, and even worse, right about their thoughts and beliefs. Unfortunately, most of them end up insulting or offending the people they are talking to. Only some are willing to look at matters from a different perspective, they entertain diverse opinions, and are interested in learning from others.
When you are open to differences in your life and you accept people for who they are, you expand your horizons and learn new ideas — your life becomes much more meaningful and exciting. You may also be giving yourself the opportunity to achieve your desires with people who share the same purposes and aspirations and are genuine about achieving them. Acceptance also allows you to better understand your values and beliefs.
Accepting each other’s differences is a two-way street. Know that while it is good for you to benefit from others’ backgrounds and experiences, you too may have something positive to show them. If you feel that you want to contribute to positive change and make a good impact, then keep an open mind and welcome diverse people into your circle. Enlighten them with your positive thoughts and good practices. Do not deny them this privilege simply because you are not open to their opposing views.
There is an underlying power in accepting each other’s differences. Acceptance will guarantee unity in this divided world. That is all we hope for in a world were empathy is diminishing by the day.
Our world would be a better place if only we could be more open to others and if we respect our differences and similarities. When this happens, we will be exposed to an array of opportunities with new friendships, healthier relationships, wider networks, more understanding of different cultures and beliefs. We will have a smaller world embraced by bigger and kinder hearts.
