How to Stop Struggling with Yourself and Find Ways to Move On
“The struggles, challenges, and obstacles that it takes to succeed in life are what makes success more valuable. Nothing great comes easy, and nothing easy can ever equate to greatness.” — Edmond Mbiaka
Ever since I started my self-development and entrepreneurial quests, challenging journeys which I knew deep inside will pay off, I constantly got up each morning anxious and ready to pursue my mission. I devoted long exciting hours over several months researching and exploring ways to develop and inspire myself to adopt good new habits for my wellbeing and my personal success.
Truth be told, the process is not an easy one. At first, it was thrilling because it was a new challenge. But gradually, I found myself slowing down, confused, sometimes feeling stuck, until I was not sure anymore whether I was doing it the right way or not. I strived not to go back to my old habits, not to procrastinate, not to lose the positive vibes. Yet, my enthusiasm was still fading, and I became skeptical about my success. I was at a crossroad, wondering what my next step would be. I was lost in my thoughts. I felt powerless and void. Everything in my life was slowing down. Now I feared failure. I was not as efficient as much as I was when I started my journey, and I began doubting my abilities. These emotions annoyed me and slowed me down even more. I thought I was on the right track! I was angry at my anger, frustrated with my frustration, and overall furious with myself.
For months, I embraced positive emotions and practiced all the good habits which I preached daily to the people around me. I was really looking forward to the change, I was delighted and proud of what I had achieved, I always looked forward to the positive change. And even though I am not fond of routine tasks, I was confident that my daily practices were good and rewarding for me, so I enjoyed repeating them. Later, I found myself battling with my demons and searching for my vanished passion. Something seemed off.
On a good note, I was still grateful and considered myself lucky to have time for myself. I felt blessed with my inner peace and new journey. But my emotions contradicted each other at that stage. I suddenly lost interest in socializing and going out. Nothing was pleasing me anymore. I spent days at home, thinking about the reasons that got me to where I was.
It was then when I realized that I should start on a new quest, this time, to reboot my mind and get back on track…
We all deal with self-struggling from time to time. It is absolutely fine to feel on the edge every once in a while. It is not ok though to dwell on it. The longer you struggle, the harder it would be for you to find your way back.
The good news is that no matter what you struggle with, you can start up again and change your viewpoint.
If you find yourself stuck, like I did, start looking for ways to overcome your struggle and reenergize yourself to be able to recommence your initial quest towards achieving your goals.
During my search, the below ways resonated with me, I hope they are helpful to you as well.
1- Sit with yourself, remember why you started, and what you wanted
Recalling what you wanted when you first started your journey can inspire you to overcome the hard time you are going through.
When you identify what you want, you will overcome burdens, refocus on your goal, and motivate yourself to be as diligent and eager as you were when you began your quest.
2- Acknowledge your negative thoughts and move on
Constantly repeating positive statements like “everything is working out for me” do not help when you do not feel these emotions. When you aim to think positively, be realistic about your thoughts. Hence, your first step is to be honest with yourself, and admit that you are struggling.
When you acknowledge your struggle, you will release those negative feelings you are going through. Try saying them out loud or writing them down.
Admitting your feelings is one effective way to rid yourself from the negative ideas.
3- Look at your struggle from a different angle
Acknowledging your struggle is a good start. But when you do, start looking at this adversity from a different viewpoint. Do not think of it as a bad thing. Do not allow your struggles to slow you down. For you to feel better, know that struggles will make you stronger.
The more you push through hardships, the more you realize that you can overcome nearly anything. Remind yourself that, whether good or bad, no situation lasts forever. So, this too shall pass.
4- Seek support from close ones
Find someone who is willing to listen to you and has your best interest at heart and talk to them.
Once you talk to someone close to you, you may feel encouraged to pursue your goals and take the heavy weight off your shoulder.
5- Focus on positive self-talk
Always acknowledge your value. Practice positive self-affirmations. Write them down or say them out loud. Know that you are worthy and constantly remind yourself of that.
Repeating positive affirmations is a powerful tool to help you become optimistic and overcome your struggles.
6- Stay away from negativity
Whether it is your mind, or the people around you, or the news, or whatever reason, move away from those negative vibes so that you prevent being overwhelmed with damaging thoughts. Instead, try to do something you enjoy and focus on it. Do things like taking a walk, reading a book, watching an uplifting movie or a funny show.
Engage in anything positive to reboot your mind and reenergize yourself.
7- Find balance in your life
If you do not find balance in your life, you will invite stress into it. Draw a line between being endlessly busy with your goals and pressuring yourself.
While it is important to chase your dreams, find time to engage yourself in activities that are beneficial to your mental and physical wellbeing. These activities may include regular exercise, a good night’s rest, or socializing with positive people.
When you find balance in your life, you will feel refreshed and inspired and ready to pursue your goals.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Be perfectly okay with being who YOU are. Fully embrace yourself, flaws and all. Love yourself right where you are. Strive to do better, but don’t beat yourself up for every shortcoming that you may have. Be brave in your journey! Hold your head up high and keep moving forward.” — Stephanie Lahart
Putting pressure on yourself will only weigh you down and limit your possibilities of growing or reaching to your desired destination. Be kind to yourself and take it easy. Remember that struggling is only a phase. You do not have to be perfect all the time and figure all your steps out at the same time. Your first step is to realize that there is a difference between perfectionism and high achievement. Thinking that you should be perfect is self-sabotage. Try your best, even if the process is slower than you expected, and you will eventually reach to where you want.
